


Three Things That Happened After Katherine Ran Off With Robin the (Ex)-Stripper

by Jennifer-Oksana (JenniferOksana)



Category: Desperate Housewives
Genre: Drama, F/F, Femslash, Humor, Morning After, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 06:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6068248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferOksana/pseuds/Jennifer-Oksana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens after Mrs. McCluskey's party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Things That Happened After Katherine Ran Off With Robin the (Ex)-Stripper

i.

Wisteria Lane always enjoyed a scene, and finding out that Katherine was sleeping with Robin the Stripper had been a particularly spectacular one. Besides, everyone was wondering what Katherine would do next. The odds had been somewhere between Katherine kicking Robin to the curb and Katherine flipping out, brutally murdering Robin, and then killing herself.

To her credit, Susan mounted a one-woman campaign against that particular idea. "That's just _mean_ ," she said. "I knew before everyone and they're cute."

However, once Katherine's minivan disappeared and didn't appear for two days...two days after anyone had last seen Katherine OR Robin...Susan enlisted Gaby, Bree, and Lynette to help her check out the Mayfair house.

"Just in case," said Susan.

"Just in case we have to call the cops?" Lynette asked wryly.

"Katherine wouldn't leave the body in the house," said Bree with her best tone of disdain. "It would ruin her floor."

"Katherine did not kill Robin!" Susan said, actually stamping her foot. "Stop saying that!"

"Well, then where did she go, huh?" Gaby asked. "And why hasn't anyone seen her or her girlfriend the stripper?"

"Robin is not a stripper. Not any more," Susan said, giving everyone a dirty look. "Also, if this is a crime scene, someone else is calling the cops. I've been involved with too many Katherine-related crime scenes."

Katherine's house looked fairly normal, but there was something taped to the door, as well as a "please hold mail" note taped to the box.

"Oh, shit. Katherine totally killed Robin, and she's taking the body to the middle of the desert to dump it," Gaby declared.

"Shut UP, you guys," said Susan. "I'm going to get the letter. Maybe it's to us."

Both Gaby and Lynette snorted. Who else would the letter be to? Mike?

"Dear guys, please clean up the blood in the kitchen. Love, Katherine," Gaby said.

"Katherine knows how to clean up her own crime scene," Bree said.

Susan glowered as she came back down the front steps, holding the letter. "It's to all of us," she said. "God, you people think the worst of everyone. No wonder she took off."

"Whatever," said Gaby, tapping her toe. "You were thinking it, too."

Susan ignored that and started reading the letter, written in Katherine's neat script.

_Dear Susan, Gaby, Bree, Lynette, and various other neighbors of Wisteria Lane,_

_I've decided to go away for a while with Robin._ ("Things that nobody would ever expect Katherine to say - I have become a lesbian and run away with a stripper," Gaby said. "Shh," said Lynette. "What? It's true," Gaby said. "Of course it's true, but let Susan keep reading," Lynette replied.) _I felt that everyone might worry if they found my house empty, given past events, so I am leaving this letter in case someone is worried that there was a murder-suicide in the house._ ("Well, that's honest," Bree said. "Katherine wouldn't have killed Robin," Susan said. "Really?" Bree asked. "They fixed Katherine," Susan said lamely. "Besides, I think Robin could probably take her in a fight," Gaby added. "Says the woman who said Katherine killed Robin at least three times in the last two minutes," Susan retorted.) _If it isn't too much of an inconvenience,_

 _I would like Bree to water my garden, as she is the only one who will take that responsibility seriously._ ("She's right, of course," Bree said. "Nobody's denying that," Lynette said. "Are you going to do it?" "Of course. I'm not going to let Katherine's garden ruin the beauty of the street," Bree replied.) _I'm not entirely sure I'm coming back. My life has seen a lot of twists and turns recently..._ ("No kidding," Lynette said.) _and given that I'm not sure what I have with Robin, I don't know what my future holds. I hope none of you hold it against me that I don't think Wisteria Lane is the best place to find myself in this case._ ("Does she think that we hate the gays around here or something?" Gaby asked. "Lee and Bob would be so offended." "I get it, I think," Susan said. "I think Katherine doesn't want this to be another wacky hijink the crazy woman is up to." Gaby snorted. "Please. This is one of the least crazy things Katherine's ever done.") _Thank you for being my friends even in situations when I've been less than one back. I hope that you can all find it in your hearts to hope that I've found someone that makes me happy._ ("Aww," Susan said. "You're just saying that because if Katherine is a lesbian, she won't be after Mike ever again," Gaby said. "No, that's not it!" Susan said. "Sure it's not," Lynette said. "It's not! Okay, maybe 1% of me is happy about that," Susan said. "But the rest is that it's cute.") _Or at least, to be happy because I'm too busy having the best sex of my life to be interested in any of your husbands._ ("She didn't write that, did she?" Bree asked, snatching the letter from Susan. "Well, I'll be." "Things nobody expected Katherine to say, part two," Lynette added.) _I have tickets to Paris in the morning and a beautiful woman pushing me out the door, so 'll finish this up. Good luck to all of you and may you find happiness in your own lives._

_Sincerely yours, Katherine._

_PS. Robin says hi and thank you to Susan for introducing us._

The four women were all quiet, and Bree took the letter from Susan as if to make sure that Susan hadn't left anything else.

"Well, it seems that Katherine's gone," said Bree. "Again."

"Wow," said Gaby. "I still think we should check the house to make sure this isn't an elaborate set-up."

Susan smacked Gaby's arm. "Stop ruining the moment," she chided. "Jerk."

 

ii.

She was pretty again. And for the first time in her life, Katherine Mayfair was free. She'd never realized how unfree she had been until she was getting on a plane to Paris with no particular return date on her ticket, a pair of big movie star sunglasses she'd always wanted but had never gotten because her husband thought they were silly, and an ex-stripper cheerfully kicking off her shoes next to her in business class and requesting 'real champagne.'

"Do you want one?" Robin asked, favoring her with a dazzling smile.

"Yes," Katherine said, blinking. "I think I would, thank you."

Everything was so strange. She would have eventually gotten a drink in her old life, but that would be because booze was free on airplanes and it would be a waste not to have one. She probably would have gotten a white wine and sipped it while wishing her seatmate would stop snoring and meticulously plotting out what must be seen while she was in Paris and where she would take the pictures she would show her neighbors on Wisteria Lane when she came back to Fairview.

"You look like someone hit you on the head," Robin said.

"I feel like someone hit me on the head," Katherine said. "But I like it. Everything's so different now."

Robin smiled at her. "Is it really?" she asked. Robin was just so happy. Sunny, that was a better word for it. People who didn't see Robin like Katherine saw Robin would probably just think she was flirting and being coy, but Katherine thought she knew a little better than that.

"Yes," Katherine said. "I'm a boring old-fashioned girl, you know. I always thought what would make me happy was finding a solid, dependable man who loved me in..."

"A quiet, stoic manly man way?" Robin asked, winking.

"Hey, don't laugh," Katherine said, trying to hide her smile. "There's nothing wrong with stoic or manly."

Robin chuckled. "I didn't say there was. I just think..." and she drew her hand up over Katherine's arm, "You don't like 'em quiet."

Katherine twisted her mouth. That was unfair! She hated all the drama and hijinks her life had been; of course she wanted quiet and stoic and...

Robin shimmied forward and Katherine felt her eyes and head follow. Damn. Perhaps she didn't exactly want quiet and stoic.

"I think you like..." and Robin paused, an evil little twinkle in her eye. "Me."

"Well, _obviously_ ," Katherine said in a low voice, looking around to see if the various businessmen and middle-aged tourists who'd paid for an upgrade to business class but weren't going to pay the ridiculous premium for First Class were paying attention.

"Boring old-fashioned girls don't like girls like me," Robin continued, leaning toward Katherine. "They don't run away to Paris."

"This boring old-fashioned girl does," Katherine said, trying to frown. "Anyhow, what I was trying to say is that I've never felt as free in my life as I do right now. I feel like...I know this is kind of stupid...but I feel like anything could happen. And I'm okay with that."

Robin smiled again, but it was that shy smile that always made Katherine's heart beat faster. There was definitely more to Robin "the Stripper" than sex. Not that the sex was bad. But Robin was so sweet and so -- Katherine didn't even have the words to describe that shy hopefulness in Robin's eyes and the answering thump-thump in her own chest.

"Gosh," Robin said, all wide-eyed innocence. " _Anything_?"

Katherine tilted her head. "Anything that won't get me stuck in prison or the hospital again," she amended with amused wariness.

"Oh," Robin said, the naughty twinkle back in her eyes. "I can come up with something good that won't get us in any trouble."

Katherine swallowed, suddenly feeling quite warm. She was quite certain that whatever Robin had in mind, it was not what old-fashioned women who preferred gentlemen did -- but that she would like it anyway.

 

iii.

Robin liked Paris in the springtime. But she would have liked Moscow in mid-winter if Katherine had been the one with her. Especially this version of Katherine, who seemed like she was waking up from a long sleep and was shocked to discover she wasn't still dreaming.

Katherine wasn't like any of Robin's previous girlfriends or even the long-disposed-of boyfriends. She was definitely prim and proper on the outside. Katherine liked being orderly and well-thought-of. She made the bed in the hotel room because the hotel staff didn't need the extra work. She folded the towels before putting them on the floor. And Robin had to chuckle over the memory of telling Katherine she wasn't wearing any underwear at a little bistro in the Latin Quarter. Katherine had gone beet red, taken Robin's hand off her leg and whispered, "did you bring any in your purse?"

It was maybe a little fun to shock Katherine, who knew how to fold her legs at the ankle like a debutante and which fork to use at any meal and what wine went with what food. Katherine, who looked too delicious in the old movie star clothes that she'd bought at Robin's insistence. Adorable little black jean pedal-pushers, a boatneck top in one of those bright floral prints that Katherine could carry off, a bright scarf in her hair and the sunglasses! God, those sunglasses with the big white frames and her little clutch...mmm. It was like looking at an old movie.

Besides, Katherine's old-fashioned-ness could be utterly charming. Like now, she was laying on a blanket in the Bois de Boulogne or the Jardin des Tuileries or wherever with her sunglasses next to a picnic basket of treats she'd assembled from the local grocer and patisserie, reading a book. It was an incredible turn-on besides being nice. Robin could think of several things she wanted to do with the red-headed woman across from her. Some of them were even PG-rated.

"Whatever you're thinking about, it'll have to wait until after we go back to the pension," Katherine said, looking up from her book.

"Oh, you're no fun," Robin said, putting her hand on Katherine's hip and smiling. "I think I will have another glass of wine and part of that baguette, then."

She squeezed Katherine's hand after that and Katherine smiled at her before going back to her book.

There was also the other side of Katherine, the part of her that was awake and uninhibited. When Katherine got a certain look on her face, then look out, world! Even Robin was a little taken aback by the passion that could seize Katherine out of nowhere. Like when they were walking up the three flights of stairs to their adorable little room with the airy curtains and intermittent running water and Katherine would get a look in her eye and push Robin against the stairwell wall and kiss her breathless, her hips pressed against Robin's, her mouth swallowing the little whimpers they made.

Then they'd practically run up the stairs, Robin pulling Katherine along until they got to the door and Robin would start undoing her shirt while Katherine tried to ignore her and open the door. But once they were actually in the room, even before the door was closed, Katherine would just grab for Robin and pull her close, hands on her face, tongue in her mouth.

"Wild woman," Robin whispered.

"Mmm," Katherine replied. "Just happy."

Katherine liked being naked. Liked being touched and licked and nuzzled and explored. Robin, who always liked all of those things, was happy to oblige. And Katherine was fun -- she whimpered when Robin scratched her nails oh-so-lightly over her arms, or flicked the tip of her tongue over Katherine's yummy collarbone. The whimpers got into moans any time Robin did more than flicker, or when her fingers traced the inside curve of Katherine's hip down to where she was always, always wet.

Though sometimes Robin barely got to dip her fingers into the soft wet warm before Katherine would change her mind and sit up, sucking on Robin's earlobe and biting on her neck. "Not yet," she'd whisper, cupping one of Robin's breasts. "I want to see you first."

And it was good. So good. Always slow and gentle at first, especially when Katherine would part Robin's knees and lick her lower lip, half nerves and half raw, aching want. But then there was nothing at all gentle and all Robin could do was thrash and whine while her hips moved up and down, up and down and her hands dug into the mattress or Katherine's shoulder.

So good. The only thing better was the way Katherine looked when she came, flushed and sweaty and screaming as her body rocked through it, arched up until she was practically levitating. Robin had never seen anyone come as hard as Katherine and it was a rush, knowing that they were that good together.

"Oh...wow," Katherine would whisper as Robin pushed the hair off her forehead. "Mmmmm!"

"Still good?" Robin asked, shifting up so she could be right next to her lover. "Any complaints?"

"No complaints," Katherine agreed. "Mmmm...you are so amazing."

"So are you," Robin said, cuddling up against Katherine. "Love you."

She expected Katherine to stiffen up, to be awkward, to do something to show her uneasiness. But instead, Katherine kissed the top of Robin's head.

"Love you, too," she said.

And that was the best thing of all.


End file.
